Caught in a fight I have to choose sides,
Even though I have decided
It's not as simple as saying so.
I've chosen the gentle whisper of lovers' touch;
Pressed between warm bodies of friends,
Cherished and cared for.
I've chosen to love and be loved in return,
To care more for others than myself,
To trust them to meet my needs
As I serve their happiness.
I've chosen to be vulnerable in love
And open to that unique pain.
Saying this does not make it so,
I am still trapped;
Held by the nightmares of my past,
Consuming me even as I fight.
I fear these shadow daemons will drive away my loves.
Alone, the only hands that touch me are cruel,
And rememberances of lovers are lost in the darkenss of my mind.
There is a fight, and I chose sides;
I pray my lovers fight as hard for me as I to for them,
And that their arms await me when I am freed from the echoes of my befores.













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